A couple of years ago I met this guy in a bar and we really hit it off. We hung out all night and I gave him my number, hoping he would call, but knowing he probably wouldn't. So I was surprised that he called me the next day. Both of our schedules were pretty packed, but we spoke on the phone almost every day for a month. He was so sweet and it seemed that he always knew the things to say to make my insides flutter. So, finally, we met up for dinner and it was great. Lots of chemistry and laughs. We really hit it off. We went back to his place and one thing led to another and we slept together. The sex was mindblowing. He walked me to my car, kissed me and hugged me tight and told me he would call me tomorrow.

That was a long time ago and the phone still hasn't rang.

I hashed this out with my girlfriends and we all agreed that he was just a typical guy who got what he wanted and forgot about me. But I always wondered what it was about me that turned him off? Was it the way I looked naked? Was it my personality? I still wonder this, even today.

After a brief period of inactivity I decided that the pro's of blogging outweighed the judgemental comments that I recieved. I came to blog stream so that I could exercise my demons. Be completely "naked" and say exactly what I was thinking, doing, and feeling and, for the most part, it's been a very good experience. I've met people I consider friends and I like checking in on their lives and having them checking in on mine. I know I'm far from perfect, but I don't come here to be judged. I'm looking foward to hearing from everyone again.

Yours truely,
The Prodigal Blogger

Ok, so many of you know the problem that I've been having in my classroom with notes containing profanity. Well today I found a few more by Table 5 in the back of the room. One said, "I want to have sex with Ashley (who is another little girl in the class) Another one said "I thought you were a sweet boy, but you're a pussy boy" and the last one said "You are an asshole" I matched up the handwriting to one boy and one girl (I'm assuming that they were passing the notes back and forth). I went to their teacher from last year and asked her if she had the same problem and she did. She told me to tell the guidance counselor and keep antecdotals of their behavior because she had to call the social worker it got so bad.

I am really distruaght over this. How can kids who seem so sweet be so vulgar? They have to be hearing it at home or from their neighborhood. The school is in a great area, but the children are bussed in from one of the most impoverished neighborhoods in the city. Besides reporting it to the proper school personel, I just don't know what to do about it. I've already had talks with them and I'm running out of ideas.

"You're so lucky!" That's what one of my sister's best friends told me last night. "You're getting married to a great guy, you have a job that you love, and you're so close to your family." I thought about what she said and I realized that she's right. I sound fabulous on paper. But for someone who is, supposedly, on top of the world, the view isn't really all that clear.

A and I actually had a really good weekend. On Friday we decorated my house, it was a lot of fun. My family really gets into it every year. We listen to carols, drink hot chocolate, and watch Christmas shows. It made me think of holiday's to come and decorating our own house and one day, maybe, with children. Saturday we went out to dinner and Sunday we went to the mall. I felt very close to him this weekend, but I wonder why LG still comes into my mind every so often. I guess A is a little vanilla and LG was Rocky Road. He actually sent me a text message (I didn't respond). He's in Japan right now. Japan. Can you believe it? He's there on business. My job send me to Harlem on business. So. Not. Fair.

On a sad note, an NYPD police officer was killed this morning. My students told me about it because it happened close to the bus stop where they get picked up. He was young with two daughters. Since A was NYPD for 5 years and is now a State Trooper it really gets me upset. I could never, ever deal with that kind of loss. I get sick to my stomach even thinking about ever getting a phone call like that. It makes me so angry that these guys are out there risking thier lives everyday for peanuts.

Work was OK today. I really hate Mondays. The kids were good, but I found another note that said "Fucking Asshole" on it. Addressed to no one and no one copped to it. I don't know what to do with these kids. They are so good and sweet in class and they try so hard to please me, there just mean to each other. It's very frustrating.