It was like one of those corny made for TV movies; our eyes locked from across a crowded room, yet it was like we were the only ones there. I couldn’t help myself, I was drawn to him like a magnet, without thought, I pushed through the crowded bar at the ski resort, and threw myself into his arms. He hugged me right back. “I missed you Bella,” he whispered into my ear. I was home.

We went back up to his room to catch up. We spent that entire night swallowing bottles full of Coors Light and retelling the stories of our lives over the past two years. His father had remarried and he hated his stepmother, although he admitted that she was a MILF. He had been in a serious relationship for a year, but things didn’t work out. I entertained him with tales of bad dates and even worse professors.

The feelings that I had developed for Joe were still there, lingering in the back of my mind, or was it my heart? However, they came in a distant second to the happiness I felt at having my friend back. Before we knew it, it was dawn. He invited me to just sleep in his room, but I could see the looks of disbelief on my friend’s faces when I told them that I had slept there but nothing happened. I went back to my own room, but we made plans to meet the next day.

When I lay down on the itchy hotel sheets, I kept thinking about how much time we missed together and how silly I had acted. I had my head so far up my ass that I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. “Not this time,” I said to myself. It was the first of many lies I would tell to myself over the course of my lifetime.

After we had each skied with our respective groups of friends we all met up for a drink, which turned into two, which turned into a spinning room and blurred visions. One of my friends was in a corner trying to touch some random guy’s tonsils with her tongue, and the other one was paying homage to the porcelain Buda in our room. Joe led me up to his room and we both stumbled in the hallway. Why is it when you’ve had too much to drink the walls start to move? Creepy.

After fumbling with the key we get inside and start talking, picking up right where we had left off. It was like those two years were a distant memory of darker days and we were basking in each other, each marveling on how the other had changed.

Now, I don’t know if it was the alcohol or the repressed crush that I had buried so many years earlier bubbling up from the darkest corner of my mind where I stashed it along with the memory of palazzo pants and clogs, but I kissed him.

Not a friendly little peck on the lips kiss either, a full blown, passionate lip lock. At first his body tensed up, but soon we were a mesh of limbs. His hands grabbed onto my face and locked into my hair. We could barely breathe. His hands made their way from my hair to my breasts as he peeled off my shirt. We lay on the bed lost in a fervent embrace. Mouth on mouth. Hands groping blindly.

It wasn’t until Joe’s hands reached the button on my jeans that I suddenly got a reality check. “What on earth am I doing?” I knew if I slept with Joe that night, I would taint our friendship forever. How could I look him in the face after this? I couldn’t go through with it.

He collapsed on his pillow when I stopped him. “You’re right, we shouldn’t have let it get this far as it is,” he said. “It’s a good thing that you have self control.” Awkwardly, I dressed and went to leave, but he stopped me.

“Back in the day, whenever I saw you kissing Leo, I wished it was me.”

I swear I broke my bottom jaw on the floor. I’ll never forget the look on Joe’s face when he revealed to me his truth. I saw in his eyes a raw vulnerability that broke my heart. It turns out, once again, that we were more alike than either had anticipated.

We talked a lot that night. We both agreed that the two years had given us some distance and perspective on what was really important. We both agreed that we would continue to stay in each others lives. We both agreed that the other was a fantastic kisser.

Joe is still in my life. I suspect he always will be. Sometimes he’s right up in the forefront and sometimes he fades into the background, but he’s always there. I wish I could tell you that things were smooth sailing from their on out, but that would be a lie. We’ve gotten into several big fights, mostly about my decisions in men, but they never lasted more than a few weeks. We shared several more drunken kisses, but we’ve never crossed the line we set that night. We just figured that kissing each other is like an added bonus to our friendship.

I presume that we will always have crushes on each other. He was less than thrilled for me when I got engaged and I was a little too jealous when he introduced me to his girlfriend and a little to happy to see her go a year later. We make much better friends than lovers. We’re too much alike for our own good. Joe has grown into a man, and a very sexy one at that. Truth be told, as I write this I’m waiting for him to come and pick me up to go out for a drink. I guess the rest of this story will have to be a work in progress.

***I can’t believe I actually got all this down on paper. I’m usually very ADD when it comes to writing. I hope you guys all liked it***